Don’t kill me if our views don’t match because if you kill me, I will haunt you forever and be a pain in your ass and I am sure you don’t want that. Right?
So, moving on … In the midst of all the hue and cry on my Facebook wall over a simple question of Dowry and Alimony, if they are same or not and should be legal or not! I would like to thanks all my friends who contributed and showed what you all think about it.
I know some of you who are against dowry will definitely take it or give it in the name of Society and Parental pressure, which according to me is “Bullshit”! And yes, giving gifts is dowry as well (In case you didn’t know).
Now! My views?
Alimony and Dowry! They aren’t same.
Starting with Dowry, by now the above paragraph might have given you some idea of what I feel about it. It is outright disease which is eating us inside out. As per an article – Dowry is an ancient custom, and its existence may well predate records of it. Dowries continue to be expected, and demanded as a condition to accept a marriage proposal, in some parts of the world, mainly in parts of Asia, North Africa and the Balkans. In some parts of the world, disputes related to dowry sometimes result in acts of violence against women, including killings and acid attacks. The custom of dowry is most common in cultures that are strongly patrilineal and that expect women to reside with or near their husband’s family (patrilocality). Dowries have a long history in Europe, South Asia, India, Africa and other parts of the world.
It is good to see people coming out and speaking about dowry, but in my whole lifetime, I haven’t seen one wedding which had no links to dowry at all. And I am not talking about rural weddings. I am talking about FAT INDIAN Weddings!! And not just Punjabi weddings but all kinds of castes (I hate fucking caste system as well but that topic is for some other day).
The only reason why it’s being termed as big topic in India is probably we are waking up now & it’s all over news. My respect to all those women who opposed it and broke those marriages.
And my middle finger to all those men, father in laws, mother in laws, fathers and mothers who agreed for dowry.
On a serious note, it’s the biggest issue in India because here, a woman is worst enemy of the other.
All the mothers and mother in laws are at fault. I hope the new generation mothers and mother in laws won’t be such a pain in the ass. Plus these are the same aunties who force marriage down your throat and later comment on how many gold and cash you took or gave.
But just talking about it won’t solve the problem, where does the issue lie? When was the last time you saw a girl getting married to a guy who is socially and financially weaker to her? NONE! The men these days are judged on the basis of money he earns or has, size of his house and size of his car. I understand one doesn’t want their daughter to spend life with no luxuries but isn’t that also a kind of dowry? I know this can be associated with Bride Price or Dower but those are different than this. I have explained those below.
For now!! Remember, NOBODY gives a fuck about LOVE! (If you do, drink some water and cool down)
Many of you might not know but there are two other practices – of bride price and dower. While bride price or bride service is a payment by the groom or his family to the bride’s parents, dowry is the wealth transferred from the bride’s family to the groom or his family, ostensibly for the bride. Similarly, dower is the property settled on the bride herself, by the groom at the time of marriage, and which remains under her ownership and control. In Islam, this concept is called Mahr which is a mandatory payment, in the form of money or possessions paid or promised to pay by the groom, or by groom’s father, to the bride at the time of marriage, which legally becomes her property. While the mahr is often money, it can also be anything agreed upon by the bride such as jewelry, home goods, furniture, a dwelling or some land. Mahr is typically specified in the marriage contract signed during an Islamic marriage
Also, dowry in India may have started in Hindu culture, it’s now a part of Muslim and Christians as well. Believe or not, it is. There have been cases in all the religions. Don’t agree? Open you fucking eyes or Google it.
On the other hand, Alimony is something which is best explained by Lawyers Club India – The general perception is that the person initiating a divorce shall not be entitled to any financial support from their spouse. This, however, is not entirely true. It all depends on the financial position of the spouse. In the event of the wife not being able to sustain herself financially, or having no source of income for herself, she then is entitled to an allowance as maintenance. On the other hand, if she is earning sufficiently well for herself, she cannot claim any maintenance. Herein, an interesting question arises, ‘ whether a husband has any right to claim maintenance from his wife’. The answer is, surprisingly, in the positive. Under the Hindu Marriage Act, this provision has raised many an eyebrow. To put it simply, depending on the circumstances, a husband also has the right to ask for alimony.
As is prevalent in our Indian society, the wife is mostly a homemaker. Thereby, a major part of our female population never ventured out from the cozy comforts of her home to earn for a living. Thus, being, more relevant, the word ‘maintenance’ came to be associated with women, almost to the point of being synonymous with the weaker s*x. However, the Indian Judiciary being very fair, came to the rescue of the husband. According to Hindu Law, the husband also has the right to claim maintenance which is subject to certain conditions. In the event of the husband becoming incapacitated due to some disease or accident, and thereby, is rendered incapable of earning for a livelihood, he then has the right to claim alimony. At the same time, one should bear in mind that if the husband is an able person in every sense of the word, and yet does nothing for a living; he cannot be entitled to any maintenance. The Court of Law provides no relief to a wastrel.
Now answer my question – Why Hrithik Roshan paid Rs 380 Crores to Suzzane Khan? Why Sanjay Dutt paid Rs 8 Crores to Rhea Pillai?
There might be many more examples but were these 2 women incapable of earning? As far as I know they both had well settled businesses at the time of divorce.
Hence the concept of Alimony is subjective. Some don’t take it and some don’t get it. And there are many out there who take it even if they don’t need it.
Be it dowry or Alimony – It’s all about the fucking money. This society is all about money these days! If you say you are not, all the best living in denial and may your soul be blessed! I will see you in hell.
The solution? None. Nobody can change it. We will continue to live in denial.
Think about it….
Unless an asteroid hits the earth and kill humanity! 🙂 #JustKidding ..
Breathe in….. Breathe Out…… Try to live 🙂 properly.