Now, I know it is not the machine but the man who is at flaw. But it’s been years of driving and riding and walking on the road, I have found this pattern in multiple cities. Certain vehicles have a similar way of plying.
While commuting, I start with a peaceful and calm mind, by the time I reach my destination, I feel like beating the shit out of few people.
Now, Disclaimer – These are personal views and may differ but we will care about your views in your own blog. ROFL! #JustKidding but seriously, laugh rather than burning your blood. (Read Hindi – Khoon na jalaa, paani pi, hass de veere)
So, here is the list –
- Autos – This is known to all like a universal fact. Right? Remember, when we were kids, teachers used to tell us that sun and earth is star and planet respectively; human body has 70% water or India is a country. In the same way, ask anyone on the road and autos would be the first thing they will quote. I have never seen any of them driving properly. None!! Across India! They are all same. As if they all go to the same school where they are taught “how not to drive on roads”
- Avengers & 100 cc bikes – Nice bike and fine ride but it becomes annoying when the person sitting on it becomes a dickhead and feels he is riding an Enfield and starts riding faster than you to seek attention. It starts to annoy. Then comes those assholes on 100 cc bikes who ride as if their ass is on fire and they are running to find water. No rear view mirrors and god knows when did they use an indicator the last time!
- Wagon R – If anyone on road is in most hurry, it is these guys who drive Wagon R. Yes, I know your previous vehicle was a two-wheeler and first car you bought was this shitty box on wheels (one of the most ugliest car) but that doesn’t mean you will try to put in between 2 vehicles like you used to do with your scooter or 100 cc bike. Common, it’s a 4 wheeler, ride responsibly. Give way when you are driving slow and someone is honking. And worst part is when you drive fast on a highway trying to race with I-don’t-know-who, that shit box will overturn. It’s not made for speed. And pls get those rear view mirrors and use them.
- Government buses – Go to any city –> Delhi, Bombay, Bangalore, Chennai or Kolkata. After Autos, these guys are a pain in the butt. These sons of whatever guns never drive in the left most lane dedicated for them, never look before changing lanes, are always facing breakdowns which lead to massive jams and speed in the most rash manner. Agreed? Coz I don’t have words to explain! Already annoyed.
- Tavera / Eeco / Sumo (CABS) – Just like WagonR, if anyone else is in a hurry are the BPO/IT Cabs. And worst are the people sitting inside who don’t fuckin utter a word. Do I need to say more? I am already annoyed!
- XUV 500 – These are still bearable and not all are idiots. But, 70% I have had an encounter with, are douches. Their first car was WagonR so you can imagine how they drive. I don’t know how and why they think they are the owners of the road. Live young? Sure, do that but at least drive like an adult.
- White Car|Black Windows|Broken but Loud bass tube/woofer with shitty music – Yes, I know that you know that whom I am talking about. All the dickheads who have a political connection (Real & Pseudo both) are a prone to life on road. The shittiest music possible and at least 7 people in a 5 seater car. They are a threat and I have not seen even a single one being slapped a challan by police.
So, what do you think about my list? If you have any more vehicles in mind, do comment below. Or, if you want tot share any story that I can write upon as an inspiration, do share your thought.
And till then, think about it… If I offended you, think about it.. Why I did?
Ride/Drive safe.. Enjoy the road not someone’s blood. Value it.
Well, you might be aware of the reasons one should buy an Enfield. I am not gonna quote same old lame reasons. Yes, you feel Royal, I know and you feel free, I know.
Just read, it might amuse you or persuade you in buying one.
1. You can ride slow – There are many bikes out there for speed but do you know any other bike which feels amazing even when you ride it slow? Except Enfield, none I can think of. The thump, the sheer pleasure of having a slow ride is heaven many times. Even those who drive/ride behind you know you won’t go fast because, fuck! its an Enfield.
2. Ride solo or in a group – Except Harley or Indian, no other bike will look good in both solo and group. You are bound to turn heads no matter how and with whom you are riding. The fairings, the colors, the speed on some bikes will surely look good but metal is metal and in long run, Enfield will always be Enfield.
3. Unbiased Bike – Again, except Harley or Indian, Enfield is the most unbiased bike with respect to gender, caste, religion or whatever man! Anyone would look sexy on an Enfield. And it treats man and woman, the same.
4. You feel Rich – We all know that every month you will need to take it to the mechanic and do some or the other corrections. The service centers will suck your blood and money out. But in all of this, you will feel rich. Like “BC! service karani hai” again! 🙂 Common, its fun and accept it, you do feel rich in a way. Competition for Harleys and other superbikes.
5. Katrina and Anushka – Damn! This should have been the first point, right? Coz both of the ladies make the bike look sexier than ever. I don’t have any more lines to say for this point. PERIOD!
6. Aviators – Are you a fan of aviators? Those Ray bans and few others! No other bike can look hotter with those freaking RayBans!!
7. What? are you still reading for more reasons? Get your ass up and go buy or ride one! If you already have it, just ride! Have fun, take that dust and pollution to your lungs or get on the highway for that fresh air!
Until next time! Ride safe, Ride hard! And ………. Ride! I am leaving for another ride now! See you!
Think about it …..
Have you ever fcked yourself? When did you last fck yourself? Imagine a whole world fcking themselves everyday every minute on the road. That car just made a wrong turn or made an over take badly causing an accident prone situation. We have a lot of morons and idiots on the road these days who are in so hurry to reach their destinations that they forget someone else is also trying to reach somewhere. Its a long way to the top if you wanna rock and roll so better keep that in mind next time you get on the road.
Right now sitting at throttle shrottle on faridabad gurgaon road, I thought of writing this blog over chai and sutta. Driving everyday from work to home and vice-versa I come across many morons and fcking idiots on the road. No matter how cool I try to be, these people leave me no choice but to abuse out loud. I am not hitting anyone; just frustrated to see how much stupid people can be.
But there is another side to the story as well. Why do these biker’s ride haphazardly. The answer lies on the roads. Everyone is in a hurry, they need to reach their destination forgetting the facts. Another reason is cars occupying all the lanes and honking in case any biker comes in the front. When was the last time you gave an indicator while changing a lane? (If you are in India). Since you have not, you expect the biker also to switch it on? And even if he does, you speed up even if you were driving dead all the time. This silent fight/revolution is seen everyday on the roads.
Each & every person is trying to show that he has a better and a bigger vehicle. You can show-off, no issues in that but don’t lose your calm on the road.
This revolution is silent. Last time when I was stuck in a jam, I parked my bike on the side and sat on the footpath to have a fag. And I observed!!
Cars hoking at bikes to move away even if there is a red light. Bikes changing lanes as soon as they find a space. Nobody seems to know how to drive. Then you have the all India famous auto wallahs. I have driven in loads of cities and one thing is common in all, the driving style of autowallahs which is – they dont know how to fcking drive. Then there are some highways and main roads where bikes are not allowed to enter. P.S. – Even if my bike is 350/500/1500 CC and i ride better than most of the cars on that road, bikes are forced to take longer and busy route. These kinds of delays also make the bikers to drive fast and awkwardly.
On a daily basis, based on my travel, coming to Noida, nobody knows what a Red light means. Even if you have a green, you need to pass with safely. In faridabad, I am yet to find roads in the midst of potholes. In Gurgaon, roads and traffic sense and traffic jams. In Delhi, people drive a little better but then you have Autos and most frustrating DTC buses.
Anyways, my tea and fag is over. Need to head to the road and continue my journey back.
So next time you drive/ride, remember, when was the last time you fcked yourself? And dont be a moron.
Drive safely and enjoy the ride!!
Think about it…
*Sent from WordPress on Blackberry”